Just re-watched the video of Swedish House Mafia at EDC:Las Vegas 2011!!!!
And HOLY FUCK! That shit is soo mind-blowing! Honest to God, if I could go back and relive and moment it would be that 2 hours that SHM played!….If you guys haven’t seen the video yet, I’ll leave the link at the bottom of this post. and just to let u guys know hoat w legit this video is, the mp3’s of Swedish House set from EDC was taken from this video!
ALSO!!!!….I made a cameo in the video 1:44:50, they caught me getting live in a shuffle circle…what can I say Imma Mutha Fuckin Monsta when I go to raves!
I don’t really hate him, its just there’s no word that is stronger than dislike and less than hate, so I choose to use hate. He’s been a complete and utter non-factor in my life. I only remember him being around when I was like 4 or 5, then he visited us when I was 13. As a kid I always got excited when he called. I always willingly called him “Daddy” and willingly said, “I love you too” at the end of every phone call. However, when he came to visit us for 2 weeks when I was 13, I realized who he was, and the type of man that he was( or wasn’t I should say). I’m the hardest working of my mothers children. (I’m the middle child. Older Brother, Younger Sister, were all 2 years apart) But when he came to visit you would’ve thought that I was nothing but a swank, a worthless degenerate. After that visit I stopped referring to him as my Dad, and started calling him by his name. I lost all willingness to call a man, who couldn’t even see how much his young 13 year old son had accomplished, as Daddy and I for damn sure lost what little love I had for him.
But this is supposed to be about why I hate him right? Because he wasn’t there to be a bread-winner for my family. Because he wasn’t there to be a support system for my mom. I had to take on the duties. Don’t get me wrong I do it with pride, and with respect for my mom. But at 21 years old I can tell you that the majority of money I get goes to helping my mom, brother, and sister. I hate my father because without even being there to influence him directly, my brother has become just like him. I hate my father because when my mom was crying on the kitchen floor because she had to make the tough decision to move into a Motel 6 with me and my sister, he was no where to be found. I hate my father because when my brother would say the most fucked up things to me, he wasn’t there to defend me, or to teach me how to defend myself. But most importantly I hate my father because when I was a teen battling with my sexuality, unable to understand who or what I am. Unable to turn to my mom for fear I may disappoint her, or that she wouldn’t understand, HE WASN’T THERE!
And now he’s local again. And everyone is saying, “Travon. Talk to your Dad. He needs you”. Really???? He needs me? Where the fuck was he when I needed him?
I hate my father for not being a father. But I thank him. Because his fucking up taught me how to succeed. His not being there taught me how to be a steadfast presence in my family’s life.
I’m not like most people who use Tumblr as an outlet, or a place where they can be their real selves. I use Tumblr as entertainment, to get a good laugh, or to read a post that will tantalize my imagination. I don’t need this site to be “real” or to express myself, because I do that in my real life.