And dumb. And embarrassed. And just like a god damned fucking idiot. How could I have been soo fucking foolish. I honestly just want to check out and go away and never come back. It’s going to be a while before I can forgive myself for being such a fucking idiot. I fooled myself into believing that a long time fantasy had finally become a reality. Well what a rude fuckin awakening. It’s just a wonder how the guy with nothing continues to lose everything…. I’m fucking done.
And that’s making me want it even more